friends forever? or maybe for a little while?

the other day, as i was hanging out with a good girlfriend of mine, i started to think about something.

let me back track, my sweet friend has been going through some life stuff lately & i figured it would be a good time to have a little girl talk & mani time. so, i called her up, we met up at a cute salon & proceeded to fill the next 4ish hours just goofing off & exchanging lots of funny stories. when she left, i thought back to the relationship i have had with her...

we met in college...became immediate friends...then had a bit of a falling out. but like adults, we met up one day, talked out all of the things that had happened & came to the decision that our friendship was way more important to both of us that losing each other. to me, that is friendship, that is love & those are the kind of people who you know that no matter the circumstance, you'll always be there for each other. those are life friends, people.

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then i started to think about those "friends" who are not really "friends" anymore, but rather acquaintances. y'all there is nothing wrong with having these people in your life. life changes, we all grow up and have our own lives. and sometimes, people fall away from each other. not because they don't like each other, but because it is life and it is okay. i know sometimes people get offended when you don't call them your "friend" but it doesn't mean anything less to know that these people come into your life for a reason and for a reason that you might or might not know, they aren't in it all the time. 

for me, i'm okay with that. i'm ok with being another person's acquaintance & them being mine. they don't need to know my deepest, darkest secrets and i don't need to know theirs. but i hope that these acquaintances & i will always continue to know each other. 

next, there are those people who have literally come into my life by storm and have become some of the best friends i could ever ask for. i talk to these people every.single.day. we are honest with each other, we will call each other on our total BS, we will support each other through any little or big thing and at the end of the day, we will still love each other for who WE are. these girls, these friendships are going to be the ones that i know i will cherish for the rest of my life. they will be in my life, my kids life and in every other step i take in my future, hopefully. 

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and then there are those friendships that have just plain vanished. i am the kind of person who wears her heart on her sleeve about 90% of the time, so i know that these friendships didn't die out with no feelings from me. BUT, these friendships that have gone away are not because i wanted them to (at least not all the time), but because i have come to realize that a friendship is a two way street. i will not be the person who puts in every effort to keep a friend, only to be used & abused by others only when they need me or need something from me. i feel like those conditional friendships don't get anywhere and honestly, i'd rather cut my losses and walk away than pretend to be friends & be close with people who don't know a single thing about me and vice versa. i don't think that's a wrong mentality, i just think it's a fact of life and whether i like it or not, things happen, life changes. 

also? a quick disclaimer, i am not talking about any particular person, so please don't take get offensive and think this is about you. i'm just throwing out some thoughts & feelings i've been having recently and that is it!

do y'all have these feelings about friendships? am i just a crazy cuckoo bird here?!